Equity Calls Us to Listen, Understand, Respect, Respond – Stebbins (amendment to Article II, which will be placed on the final agenda)

While being in favor of Wheeler’s equity amendment, I still do not support this one as I do not wish to covenant to listen, understand, respect and respond.

I strongly prefer A2’s existing language over this amendment and
I feel like how I want to covenant is better covered in the following parts of A2.

For example under generosity in A2 “We will create and nurture sustainable relationships of care and respect, mutuality and justice. We will work to repair harm and damaged relationships.”

And in justice section "We work to be diverse multicultural Beloved Communities where all thrive. We covenant to dismantle racism and all forms of systemic oppression. "

And in generosity “Our generosity connects us to one another in relationships of interdependence and mutuality.”

And inclusion’s "Systems of power, privilege, and oppression have traditionally created barriers for persons and groups with particular identities, ages, abilities, and histories. We pledge to replace such barriers with ever-widening circles of solidarity and mutual respect. We strive to be an Association of congregations that truly welcome all persons who share our values. We commit to being an Association of congregations that empowers and enhances everyone’s participation, especially those with historically marginalized identities. "

I’ve explained previously about listening bits above especially the burden some white UUs put on BIPOC UUs.

Giving specific examples: I had a white UU congregational BOT physically block me from exiting the church to tell me how I often seemed angry and they went onto tell me that I really need to listen to them more and should have dinner with them and then I would understand they weren’t racist.

I had another BOT a different time explain to me and describe to me in detail what he felt were my racialized features as to why he couldn’t tell me apart from the one other mixed race BIPOC UU in attendance and when I told him that sounded racist, he then sent me a very long letter explaining how I needed to listen and understand his pain because me saying that was racist really hurt him.

Most recently I had a white UU without asking my consent launch into a monologue about their hurt feelings because some months previously at a meeting I had mentioned something being about race for me.

So here’s the thing I do need to ignore things, ignore people if I didn’t I wouldn’t still be sticking around in these rooms. I need to ignore, not react, not respond and move away from hurtful racist, sexist, ableist, homophobic things all the time - and these things happen in UUs spaces, UU communities. This ignoring (not extending my labor to listen, not contorting myself to look for good intent, not pouring out my energy and investing time to respond thoughtfully, and not doing their job to educate themselves) while I’m being hurt and harmed is actual survival and act of self love.

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Thanks for participating in the conversation, Leilani! I will re-read it to make sure I haven’t missed anything.

Hello again @LeilaniDavenberry and others considering the Stebbins Amendment,

In re-reading some of the comments above, I can see how different perspectives simply will result in different votes on this Amendment, and I respect that. I can try to understand those perspectives and respond with my own.

If I ask you to listen to my perspective, I know it is your right to disagree with my perspective – or even to not listen to it at all! All I can do is encourage you to follow your heart and mind – and do what you believe is best for you and your Beloved community.

As I prepare for GA, I find myself writing more and more poetry. The “poem” below is one of my responses to re-reading some of the comments on this page. I offer it to you.

IF WE DECLARE

If we declare
that every person is inherently worthy
and has the right to flourish
with dignity, love, and compassion . . .

If we declare that,
then what do we covenant –
what do we promise to one another
in our “spiritual discipline of love”?

If we covenant
to use our “attention and wisdom”
in the effort to ensure the right
of every person to flourish,

Can we imagine
the shape that attention and wisdom
might take for us
in our spiritual discipline of Love?

Maybe
paying attention includes listening.
Maybe wisdom Includes trying to understand, respect,
then appropriately respond in ways that prevent and address inequities.

Maybe in order to appropriately respond -
to “use our time and $ wisely”
and ultimately build and sustain accessible and inclusive communities
where every person can flourish -

Equity first “calls us
to listen, understand, and respect”
every person (ourselves and others)
as we practice our spiritual discipline of Love.

Then maybe
we can decide
how to appropriately
“respond.”