I agree that if we never acknowledge that this can go “in the other direction,” it can amount–or can feel to us like it amounts, anyway–to a sort of “ranking” in shared spaces of discourse. And this is why some of the methods of redressing, such as identifying and calling on certain minorities to speak first, can feel clunky, crude, ideological, or whatever.
But to me, it comes back to the “stepping on the head” thing. Neither one of these lenses is the complete picture–neither completely surrounds and accurately encompasses the world of our interactions, our effects on one another.
Let’s say that you and I, at least, maybe agree on THREE things: (1) the goals of fighting oppression and injustice are important, (2) listening to one another better can help, and (3) for there to be shared community, there has to be some reciprocity of exchange.
Even if we add in that (1) urges us to focus on equity rather than equality (e.g., allowing/encouraging some to speak first), the reality is that there are many kinds of marginalization, they can conflict, and valid needs and self-interest can conflict. So while we are looking for better ways to acknowledge and try to address disparities, I don’t think it hurts to also acknowledge that this is complex and involves many factors.
If we are going to go one step further, we might say that expressing this complexity can be seen and can act as a delaying or impeding or erasing tactic. But it can also be seen and can act as an opportunity to keep thinking about and improving our ways of engaging these issues.
The Hidden Brain mode, I feel would call on us to acknowledge that each “side” (or really each personal, subjective viewpoint) feels that there is not a balance, and that the imbalance is not in our favor. I personally think it is true that in many UU spaces, we are trying to redress imbalances that cause marginalization with some approaches and tools that some can find excluding, and that in some cases, they may misfire. But I also think it is true that some of what we are trying to address remains invisible to some people.