I love the thoroughness and careful thought that has gone into this suggested amendment. I also have a couple comments/suggestions.
- First paragraph:
I would add the phrase about cultural awareness (which might require some other editing) to specifically address the issue of cultural appropriation. I appreciate the concerns others have raised about saying we respect all the cultures and histories in which the sources arose; this is a way to approach the concerns behind that phrase in a way that might be more acceptable.
- Fifth paragraph (fourth source)
I don’t know how to phrase it, but I think this source should refer to life’s pain and sorrow as well as its beauty and joy. The importance of any religion is that it helps us deal with the whole range of life’s experiences (as you mention in the last paragraph).